I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We have started to decorate penises.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
