they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
