Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
