He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
