dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
