and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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