fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
