Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
