It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
