Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
