So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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