Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
