I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize