I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
