i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize