how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I cannot find my penis.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
