Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
