So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
