i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
