I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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