did you get engaged???
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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