i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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