I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
