spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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