So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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