You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
