If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
