if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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