You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
