he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
