mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
