Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize