We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
