whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
