Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
