i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
