he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
