do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
