If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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