Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
