That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize