What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
