I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
