Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
