just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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