How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize