when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
