She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize