I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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