your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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