OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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