Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
