I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize