It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
