I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
