i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
