4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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