dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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