I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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