Acid is not a monday night drug
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
