She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
