I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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