Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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