For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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