Just fell off a train. Bad.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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