Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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