I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Randomize