dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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